On one of the hottest California summer days, SRHS senior Hannah Nguyen and her family of four set out on a trip to Costco – their new favorite leisure time activity. While the Nguyens would usually choose a more exciting way to spend time together, the Covid-19 outbreak had other plans. 

“We tend to go just for the heck of it with no intention of buying anything. It’s our new favorite thing now,” said Nguyen earlier this week in an interview. 

The summer of 2020 was meant to be filled with relaxation and college visits for the typical Marin family but the Shelter In Place lockdown ground life to a halt. Everything was put on pause. Going to Costco became the most exciting idea for some people, and many other everyday activities suddenly got a new meaning and became exciting rather than cumbersome. 

The ways in which Coronavirus has altered social norms and customs for people all across the globe will undoubtedly be remembered as a historic event. The residents of San Rafael face their own unique setbacks and continue to struggle with restrictions like social distancing. Being faced with conflicts at home has only increased the stress levels throughout the community. Some saw the quarantine process as beneficial to relationships with their loved ones, while others suffered through traumas and disruption with their immediate family members.

However, the new lifestyle derived from quarantine has not failed to provide silver linings to the lives of some of San Rafael’s residents. Susan Zelinsky, a local music teacher and mother of two San Rafael High students said that quarantine helped her rekindle the relationship between her and her husband. Zelinsky stated, “Me and my husband have dinner together more often and sometimes we even hold hands around the house.” 

The non-medical side effects of the coronavirus outbreak have allowed families to reconnect, however, not all familial encounters have been enjoyable.  “Living with your sibling will always lead to clashing, especially when you can’t leave the house to take your mind off it,” said SRHS girls’ lacrosse captain, Ruby Jobe.  “When you’re forced to live with someone so closely, pretty much every time they breathe you just want to go crazy,” said Jobe when asked about the early stages of the SIP lockdown. 

In the early spring of 2020 when quarantine puns were all the rave among Facebook moms, the sense of reality and seriousness was forgotten by those who didn’t lose their jobs or whose family members didn’t pass away from the virus. Despite tragedies and loss throughout California, as well as the rest of the world, people should by no means feel guilty for getting to bond with their families. When posed with the question of family dynamics, Zelinsky commented that, “our family dynamics became better during the early stages of the SIP as we were able to finally sit down and have dinner together and watch movies but as time went on, everyone slowly retreated back to their rooms — I did as well, not just my teenagers.”

As families in Marin County are still experiencing the ongoing restrictions in terms of socializing, more time is inevitably spent with immediate family. However, increased interactions among family members does not always play out well in the end, and many families have experienced an overload of ‘family time’.” Even if some colleges are closed and cannot provide dormitories for their incoming students, high school grads will move into apartments with friends just to get the long awaited feeling of separation from their families. Married couples face hardships as well and divorce rates have drastically increased. The quarantine experience has certainly put a strain on all kinds of relationships.  

In the midst of it all, an overall sense of gratitude has risen among teens. Suddenly they were able to witness what goes on at home when they used to be at school. For those parents who have worked from home even before quarantine, having kids running around creates a completely new ambience in the house. Senior Mia Fenner stated, “I have been able to see how hard my parents work to support our family now that I spend so much time at home. I can see just how many hours they put into their jobs and also how much time they spend caring for me and my brother.” 

Without teachers giving constant reminders about deadlines and expectations every day in school, parents have become the new form of verbal reminders and teens are quite fed up. Despite it being less intimidating to talk back to your mom than to your English teacher, the level of frustration remains the same for most. 

“The unmotivation had really gotten to me during the spring semester and my grades were plummeting,” said Nguyen. She also added that “This created a lot of frustration and stress between my parents and I. I could tell they were disappointed in me.” Many students no longer have access to counselors or therapists in person and may not feel comfortable replacing these figures with their parents. Bottled up tensions in one house are unquestionably problematic. 

 “At the beginning of quarantine, I could really see the stress my mom suffered by not having a job to go to and thus no income,” said Hanna Nguyen. “She and I got into fights often and we argued about many things such as college, grades, and friends.” Hanna herself lost her job as a piano instructor and fell short of her own income. 

Sometimes, unprecedented situations can cause surprise silver linings. As stress shifts the dynamics in family settings it can both destroy and strengthen relationships. While most reports talk about the negative effects, it is important to note the few uplifting exceptions as well. When asked if she had grown closer to one family member in particular, Mia Fenner recalled that she and her mother had developed a better connection. Fenner says her college application process has become overwhelmingly difficult with the constant reminders she receives from her parents.  She recalled how her mother in particular would badger her about deadlines and essays. Despite the constant nudging, Fenner says, “Quarantine would have been too boring and lonely without my mother.” 

Through thick and thin, families have gone through a plethora of obstacles no one would have dreamt of a year ago. Social situations and celebrity galas have been replaced with family matters. The Covid-19 quarantine gave people a chance to step back and see fundamental problems within relationships or better yet, redeem themselves within their families and among friends. Each quarantine story has uniqueness and grit, all descended from the same virus.