You Won’t Believe How the Schedule is Changing for Next Year


Zack Hatch, Contributor

Next year at San Rafael High School the schedule is changing and it is getting worse. The teachers held a meeting and unanimously voted for this new schedule to pass. No students got a say in any part of the process.

In the new schedule there are no more A or B days. The teachers decided to completely throw out the old system in favor of a new communistic system that many prestigious high schools on the East Coast are using. Each student gets five classes with Monday being the first, Tuesday being the second and so on. The teachers decided to change it so that there is one five hour class each day with one 15 minute break for lunch. Students are no longer allowed to go to the bathroom during the class.  

In 2018 multiple top colleges did a study on this new system of high school and reported that overall, it led students to perform better on standardized tests. When this study was published, a wave of change swept the nation as high schools set out to adapt their schedules as quickly as possible.

This change has made its way to San Rafael High School. This system will help students to better prepare for college and life. With the day long periods, students will be able to experience what life could be like in a workplace. Students will have one long boring day devoted to only one subject. The division of the periods will create a great environment for growth and creativity among the otherwise routine schedule.

Day-long periods will help students develop better social skills as they are forced to endure day long classes with the same people. This will help them create strong bonds with their classmates, making a more socialist classroom. Students will be in what the colleges call, “a better and more equal place.”

By next year all students will be expected to wear a uniform to “include everyone and leave no one alone.” The new uniforms will consist of a black casual jacket, a white polo, a red tie, and the student’s choice of either khakis or a skirt.

Top colleges have said that the uniforms create a sense of professionalism that would be expected of a person in a workplace. Uniforms also begin to reinforce the fact that communism in America is better.

Uniforms have been proven to increase productivity again and again by the great nations of North Korea and the USSR. By reinforcing this standard early, school children will be more prepared for their life at a desk under the beautiful fluorescent lights serving their country.

Combining the long stimulating days along with the strictly regimented dress code, San Rafael High School will fit in with the standards described by the top colleges. These changes will make it the best high school in Marin county.

All the teachers and staff may be on board, but some students are not so sure. Juniors and underclassmen are outraged at this change and are confused as to why they have to deal with this. They think that the schedule change is not a good idea.

One sophomore, who wished to remain anonymous said, “F*** the schedule change.” Simply asking the question of whether he liked it triggered this response from the student. He is angry that the school is changing the schedule while he is still here.

Many students are also scared that this regiment of classes and uniforms will make the school similar to North Korea. They worry that there could be a rise of a communist system in their otherwise democratic communities.

However this change to a more communistic system will help to force the students into a mindset were they have no freedom. They will be trained to do as they are told as fast as they can with no distractions. The regime implemented in schools will make the students far superior to any other country despite the prestigious country of North Korea.

The school system also helps to make the students ready to become potential soldiers as early as sophomore year. This will make America even more powerful.

Other students that are more sympathetic with communism see this schedule as a good thing. They are glad that SRHS is “becoming a breeding ground for superior communist ideals.”

The school is split on the new schedule change. The teachers love it, but some students are more reserved about the idea of change. However, this schedule change could have many unknown consequences.

One school in Arkansas experienced riots; the students proceeded to set the school on fire and effectively destroy it. Another school in Wyoming had a problem with students disappearing. The students were said to have shown up to school first, but after they went to the bathroom during the break, they never came back. After a day or two the same student would mysteriously show up as if nothing had happened.   

Besides these small problems in almost forgettable states, this system has made schools better. As of next year this will be the norm. This change while help to make San Rafael High School the best school in Marin County.

Please enjoy the North Korean National Anthem.

*these events are not real and all quotes used are either fabricated or jokes. The schedule may change but not to the extent described.